hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
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Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
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I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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