i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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