Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
