Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
