yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
