I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
