I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
