her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
