i wish my penis had a tongue
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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