There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
