Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
