how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
