i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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