maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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