Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
