Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize