what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
