shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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