Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
not ubering you a puppy
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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