OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
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this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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