I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
