so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
