I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
This baby is an asshole
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
