Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
