I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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