Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
