Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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