Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
