You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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