girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize