I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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