At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
