Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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