btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
vagina is talking i cant
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
