and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
