he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
