are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize