I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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