I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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