Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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