Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
