i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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