dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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