I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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