I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
