My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize