I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Do you have feelings for this penis?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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