i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize