There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
