you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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