Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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