I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
