Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
