ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
