My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
