I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
