I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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