I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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