I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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