return my video game
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
