Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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