forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
