mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
