You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
